You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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