happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
