In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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