Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
