How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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