True but thats because hes a fetus.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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