Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
oh god the rape fog is back!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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