I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
