I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she smelled like a LAN party
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
