Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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