I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
