I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize