I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
