I molested 6 butterflies tonight
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
