just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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