Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
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