I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
time to smoke my breakfast
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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