why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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