Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
