Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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