No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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