Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I think I just sharted jello shots
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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