I wannas sexs uuuuu
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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