I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
