There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
