david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
