you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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