so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
