did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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