you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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