i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
