Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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