she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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