I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
