U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
