I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
