Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
