he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize