ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
