This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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