i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
