I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
