if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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