we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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