I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
