my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
