I can tuck mytits in my pants
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
