I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
