There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
