PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
