Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
even my farts smell like vagina
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you have to choose: penises or morals?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
