Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
