Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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