Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
