I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
