Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
