Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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