Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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