just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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