all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
