dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize