no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
