i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
