Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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