Your dad touched me again.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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