so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
