I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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