broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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